This is just one example of how many of my days go - in comes one thought, out goes another. There happens one action, out happens another. I constantly find myself in a state of "a million miles a minute." As I'm running out of my office to the printer, turning to speak to someone, my entire left side smacks my doorway (I swear this happens at least 3 times a week). While working I'm somehow simultaneously answering 2 emails, checking voicemail, writing a to-do list, finishing up a report AND changing my pandora station. While at home I'm "watching" TV, looking at 3 different magazines, searching the internets vast blog society and cooking dinner all the while doing laundry and cleaning the apartment. On weekends, sitting still is not an option. My mode of operation is go, go, go until I pass out early on Sunday nights due to near over-activity exhaustion (which apparently caused me to miss the biggest announcement of the century this past Sunday evening). Anyways, it must be said that I've come to a realization that I'm everywhere at once...or, I at least want to be everywhere at once. This even stems into my social life. Lord forbid I can't make it to three differnt events in one night - I'll miss out! That stress is less and less these days as I actually have begun to realize I'm not really mising out on things other people are doing...I'm only missing out on things I want to be doing.
New York is arguably the best and worst city to live in if you have an a.d.d. personality like my own. Just yesterday I printed off a list of "101 Things To Do in the Springtime in NYC" from my fave mag Time Out New York. Yup, 101 things...in springtime...in NYC. Well, since "spring" apparently comes really late in this city, you only truly have one month (May) to cram these things in. and..to make matters worse, there's about 12 things under each item encouraging even more "doing". Phew. And, if you know me...I want to do it all - analyze art in central park? drink on a rooftop? (checked off last weekend) picnic at the high line? hop on a bike? tour Brooklyn Brewery? march in the Veggie Pride Parade? yes please. yes to it all.
How will I ever find the time to do it all? How will I ever decide what's most important? most fun? most inspiring? I know, I know, clearly it's the veggie pride parade. But, what else?
I feel like I constantly am living my life that way. Thinking, "ok, that was great...but, what else? what next? what more can I get into?" And, you know, I think that it's okay to be that way. For sometime, I have worried that this might be my biggest downfall - why can't I just be satisfied with same old same old routine, right? Will I ever find contentment? To me, however, I think my contentment is the idea that there are constantly things to get into, to see, to do, to experience. I need to rest in the idea that yeah, I will always be eager for more...but that's what makes me who I am and heck, it makes me fun!
I haven't written here for quite a while and I feel like there is so much to tell. That's also the problem with a personality like mine - blogging is difficult. I find myself having so much to say and wanting to write about everything that often times I end up writing about nothing. I think about the blog everyday, however, what I want to say, what I think will make an impact. But, sometimes, I just don't know how to choose. So, for tonight, i will leave you with thoughts I had today that I wanted to tell someone about...
My morning cup of MUD coffee puts a smile on my face every sip I take (except when it spills on my white crisp white shirt within moments of stepping on the subway)
How awesome are strangers who hand you tissues to wipe up your spilled coffee?
Museli with coconut and yogurt will forever remind me of mornings in Italy
The main reason I want to write a blog - I'm so inspired and in love with the ones I read!
Sometimes, you just have to tell the truth and ask the hard questions
It's worth sticking around when people believe in you
Why am I so into dudes with baseball hats on backwards?
Peanut butter never fails
I need a soundtrack of my life, following me around and playing the exact perfect songs at the exact perfect moment
How wonderful is dinner on the balcony (a.k.a. firescape) with my roomie ben
socks bring me comfort
an open window at night in the spring is one of my favorite things
New York freakin rocks in the spring (aka weather warmer than 50 degrees)
Love this post! I too am always on the go, jumping from one thing to the next. I feel lazy if I'm not chaotic. Sometimes I think it's a fault bc I never relax and complain about not relaxing, but really being busy is just what makes me tick. And that's ok too! More power to you and your 101 NYC things to do :) love ya, sam
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you: peanut butter never fails.
ReplyDeleteLove you!