Everything...

Like always, the past few weeks have left me constantly thinking of things I want to write about. Each and every day here in new york is simply filled with opportunities, experiences, feelings, sights, conversations...to write about. Today, however, was different. It was different because it was filled with nothing. And it was filled with everything.

We're expecting Hurricane Irene to visit nyc tonight into tomorrow. We've been preparing for the strong winds and deep waters since Thursday. Parts of the city have been evacuated. My own apartment sits on the edge of Zone C - to be evacuated in case things get severe. Mass transport has been shut down. Even Starbucks is closed (i mean, i thought Starbucks never closed). Hurricane preparation in new york city is like experiencing the prediction of 5 inches of snow anywhere south of DC - pure panic and no bread or milke to be found. Our corner market however has the largest amount of products I have ever seen. In that, we are lucky.

For a city that is normally so lively...a city that you have to lock yourself in your apartment or throw yourself into a cab to find some peace and quiet and to be totally alone...a city that "never sleeps" as they say...it is insanely quiet today. No cars are honking, no music is jamming, not a soul walks the streets. It's rare. It's strange. It makes you realize that the people of new york are what make it.

And yet, I've enjoyed today. Today, I have done absolutely nothing. I've read the paper, drank three cups of coffee, cleaned, finished laundry, made lunch, read a book, took a nap, watched a movie. Some may say that's a typical weekend. Not in New York. Not for me. On the weekend, I don't allow myself to indulge in such relaxation. I was actually supposed to go on a hike in the northern part of the city (cancelled due to irene). Instead, i relished this nothing. I did what I guess I've always wanted to do...but never allowed myself to do - nothing. And yet...it felt good. It felt like an escape...even though I was bound by walls on all sides. It felt like home...even though I'm miles from that.

So that was the nothing.
Then there was everything.

I found out just a bit ago that my best friend is having a little boy. Preston Thomas. A little boy that will change her life, a little boy that will make her life, a little boy that already means everything.  A little boy who, no doubt, will give his mom a run for her money...just as she did to her mom. A little boy who will be blessed and loved and cared for. A little boy who I already love, who I can't wait to meet, who I know is meant to be here. Just as Sarah and Justin were meant to be husband and wife. Just as Sarah and I were meant to be friends.

Some people may think it's impossible to have someone be your "everything" - a person who makes you walk a little taller, laugh a little harder, love a little stronger. A person without whom you, as you are truly, would not exist. A person who you never knew you needed until you met. A person you never knew you couldn't live without until they left. A person with whom you can just be. A person who, however many times you repeat the same stories to, always listen patiently and without distraction. Someone who really knows you, all your faults and all your flaws, all your pain and all your sorrow, and still loves you anyway.

Sarah - you are my everything in so many ways. So many ways I don't know how to express them all. I didn't say a speech at your wedding because, for the first time in my life, I was speechless. How do you tell someone that they mean the world to you? That without them, you would have failed to be the person you are today. That without them, you wouldn't know confidence, strength and beauty? That without them, you wouldn't nearly have laughed as much, learned as much or loved as much?

I guess you tell them through being there. Showing up. Pouring into them as much as they pour into you. Their joys become your joys. You tell them they will be an amazing mother because they have been such an amazing friend. You tell them they are just as fabulous as they need to be. You tell them to walk tall, laugh hard and love strong. You tell them dont worry...it's all meant to be.